Memento Mori

"I woke up with a call from my uncle in the middle of the night, his voice was shivering like he had witnessed something horrible. I had to calm him down first because he was crying and out of breath. Then I asked him, "what is the matter?", with little strength left in him, he said, "Grandpa is no more". Then there was just silence"

During this pandemic, All of us have either made or received a call like this. These are hard and trying times, we all want that our loved ones to live a long and healthy life but the reality is far from it.

Now a very young generation has been introduced to the age-old concept of "Death" and most of us don't know how to react to it because we never talk about it. Even as an adult, your questions about death are repressed with a statement based on numerous superstitions, and because of this we have a generation that is either scared of death or doesn't want to acknowledge it as a part of life.

I was one of them until I witnessed it and faced a wave of uncomfortable emotions and questions.

So, I started learning about it and read this shocking statement,

"Everything we do in our life is based on how we perceive death."

As soon as I read it. I had one question only,

How can our perception of death have such a huge impact on our life?

The answer was in the ancient Latin phrase,

"Memento Mori ~Remember you must die"

Originated from an ancient Roman tradition where after a major military victory, the triumphant military generals were paraded through the streets to the roars of the masses. The ceremonial procession could span a day with the military leader riding in a chariot drawn by four horses. There was not a more coveted honor. The general was idolized, viewed as divine by his troops and the public alike.

But riding in the same chariot, standing just behind the worshipped general, was a slave. The slave’s sole responsibility for the entirety of the procession was to whisper in the general’s ear continuously,

“Respice post te. Hominem te esse memento. Memento mori!”

“Look behind. Remember thou art mortal. Remember you must die!”

The slave served to remind the victor at the peak of glory, this god-like adoration would soon end, while the truth of his mortality remained.

The point of this reminder isn’t to be morbid or promote fear but to inspire, motivate and clarify. The idea has been central to art, philosophy, literature, architecture, and more throughout history.

As Socrates says in Plato’s Phaedo, “The one aim of those who practice philosophy in the proper manner is to practice for dying and death.”

The importance of Memento Mori can be found in stoicism as well. The Stoics used Memento Mori to invigorate life and to create priority and meaning. They treated each day as a gift and reminded themselves constantly to not waste any time in the day on the trivial and vain.

Seneca urged in his Moral Letters to Lucilius,

“Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day…The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.”

In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius wrote to himself: “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”

The emperor considered it imperative to keep death at the forefront of his thoughts. In doing so, the world’s most powerful man managed the obligations of his position guided by living virtuously now.

Epictetus would ask his students, “Do you then ponder how the supreme of human evils, the surest mark of the base and cowardly, is not death, but the fear of death?” And begged them to “discipline yourself against such fear, direct all your thinking, exercises, and reading this way — and you will know the only path to human freedom.”

An ancient Egyptian custom where celebratory feasts concluded with the raising of a skeleton to the chant, “Drink and be merry, for such shalt thou be when thou are dead.”

At the height of the celebration, Egyptian custom was to set remembrance to the frailness and fleetingness of the festival. Through the visual of the skeleton and the pronouncing of the chant, celebrators reeled in the jollity to acknowledge the moment would soon pass so not to take it for granted.

In Buddhism, the mindfulness of death is a central teaching.

The meditative practice maranasati, meaning “death awareness,” is considered essential to better living. It brings recognition to the transitory nature of one’s physical life and stimulates the question of whether or not one is making the right use of their fragile and precious life.

As Buddha put it, “Of all the footprints, that of the elephant is supreme. Similarly, of all mindfulness meditation, that on death is supreme.”

As the world has gotten safer and better, we start to think that we’re going to live forever and that things are always going to go exactly our way. The Stoics would say that death is what gives life meaning – it’s the cap at the end that helps us make the most of the time we’ve been given.

Dr. BJ Miller, a hospice and palliative care physician, and a triple amputee survivor of a near-death electrocution accident, says meditating on death has become taboo in our culture but it is the secret to living.

Even today, it is being used as a tool for motivation by successful entrepreneurs, authors, and artists. Many of them have continuously acknowledged the concept of Memento Mori as a life-changing and have encouraged others to do the same.

Steve Jobs famously said:

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Billionaire author, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and life coach Tony Robbins said,

“There’s something coming for all of us. It’s called death. Rather than fearing it, it can become one of our greatest counselors. So, if this was the last week of your life, what would you cherish most? How would you live? How would you love? What truth would you tell today?”

I have found that it is easy to lose track of that mortality, to forget time, to think that you’re going to live forever. The idea that you’re gonna die and that life is short is only depressing if you’re thinking about it wrong. If you’re thinking about it in the right way, it should give you a sense of priority. It should even give you a sense of meaning; it should let you know what’s important, what you’re trying to do while you’re here on this planet.

So, If you feel scared or anxious while confronting the concept of death. Just say the phrase, "Memento Mori" to remind yourself that death is a part of life and it should not be a source of fear but of motivation to live a purposeful life.

Many people fear the concept of death and it impacts their life on every level. So, If you feel anxious or scared by this concept then I would recommend you to read this article, Why We Fear Death and How to Overcome It?

It will provide you with the psychological insights required to understand this topic in more depth and ways to overcome it.

Remember,

“Death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back.”

~ Marcus Aurelius